Endless parallels carved through existence
a symbol of human achievement
creating a perception of eternity
fore and aft continuous interconnected railways
bind us together.
Sense of anticipation arises;
the mile long elephant approaches
heartbeat racing as the beast screams
it slows to its resting place
Scent of hot steel permeating the senses
each child in tow with its unique colour and textures
appreciating the art that adornes the mobile gallery
Making a mark
careful not to impede others
mighty monster of beauty
a graffiti artist's dream.
© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110918
Author note: This is my first non-rhyming write I've ever done, so I don't even know if it is a poem or not. I was inspired by a love piece the other day, so I tried writing without rhyming. This was completely against everything I've ever known. Critical feedback appreciated.
I like this VERY much, Steve, and have shared it on my wall, so that hopefully, you will be able to read what I had to say there as well -- 'lest I repeat myself like some doddering old fool.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stephanie! I didn't know how to feel about something I've never done before... but I knew I was in a good crowd with my fellow writers ♥
ReplyDeleteha. a graffiti artist dream...we have a train lot not too far away and it is like an art gallery for sure...like the allusion to it being a large elephant...that works..you capture the smell too...very nice...
ReplyDeletegraffiti on traveling trains, always eye catching, no rhyme needed for this piece, terrific
ReplyDeletefor sure it is a poem...kudos on your first non-rhyming piece...love the mighty monster of beauty and the graffiti's artist dream. and very cool pic as well
ReplyDeleteI love your use of language in this one. I've only ever done one non-rhyming poem so I know how strange it feels. It doesn't matter if it doesn't rhyme as long as it flows, and this definitely flows... Great job! :)
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