2011-09-18

Parallel perception



Endless parallels carved through existence
a symbol of human achievement
creating a perception of eternity
fore and aft continuous interconnected railways
bind us together.

Sense of anticipation arises;
the mile long elephant approaches
heartbeat racing as the beast screams
it slows to its resting place

Scent of hot steel permeating the senses
each child in tow with its unique colour and textures
appreciating the art that adornes the mobile gallery

Making a mark
careful not to impede others
mighty monster of beauty
a graffiti artist's dream.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110918

Author note: This is my first non-rhyming write I've ever done, so I don't even know if it is a poem or not. I was inspired by a love piece the other day, so I tried writing without rhyming. This was completely against everything I've ever known. Critical feedback appreciated.

2011-09-14

Feeling of sensuality

I want to feel your glistening skin,
and taste your sweat on my lips,
I want to have you in my arms,
I want to take you to the stars.

A woman's body is a temple,
her soul inside is like heaven,
I love the feeling of sensuality,
I'll give my all, wholeheartedly.

For me to touch, I must have love,
a strong soul-meshing emotional bond,
when I eventually say that I love you,
I promise it will always be forever true.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110914

2011-09-13

Love through touch


I'm the type of guy,
who needs physical touch,
with my soft gentle hands,
I'll infuse you with love.
Just look in my eyes,
and begin to believe,
that I will make you feel,
divine ecstasy.

Take my hands,
as I pull you close,
and whisper in your ear,
a love song I wrote.
Holding you tight,
as I kiss your lips,
love through touch,
is where my happiness is.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110813

Love described as words


Dearest Sabra, my one and only,
rescued me from a life of feeling lonely,
how does a poet come up with the words,
to accurately portray what you deserve?
All I can do is write to the best of my ability,
exercising from the depths of my linguistic agility.

My love for you comes from an emotional collection,
a visualization of the full colour spectrum,
a musical symphony that has until now been unheard,
and I try to transpose these senses into words.

My love glows for you like a star in the night,
your very presence provides delight in my life,
the grass is greener, and the sky more crystal blue,
since the very day you adopted my soul into you.

I see a future with colour, I see a future full of hope,
it won't be long, and you'll see actions instead of notes.
My future is vibrant, my future has purpose,
this time we've had apart, has been more than worth it.

If you feel this is a fairy tale, that may be true,
but you are Cinderella, and I have your glass shoe.
So be prepared for love, and all that comes with it,
because my words will turn to action, and my actions are intrinsic.

I won't care what we have, I won't care where we live,
I just know in my heart that we'll be harmonious.
We are perfect together, forever we belong,
my love story with you, will be my unwritten song.

We will live a life, like in another dimension,
it will continuously feel like escalating ascension.
Our love is divine, it will act as our guide,
our souls will merge as one, providing eternal peace of mind.

When I tell you that I love you, close your eyes and make a wish,
and before you know it, I will bless you with a kiss.
My love is like a river, a river with no end,
each morning we wake up,
we'll have a newly heightened love all over again.

If my beloved words, bring tears to your eyes,
open your heart, and open your mind.
My words aren't even half of my love so pure and true,
you will be in for the shock of a lifetime,
when I can show all my love to you.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110822

2011-09-12

Depressive monotony


Abandonment issues has got me in depressive monotony,
I was let out of prison early cause they didn't even want me,
like a sliding window each and every day,
one day I'm happy, the next I'm depraved.

There's not a drug on the market that helps with these symptoms,
I have so many feelings of hurt, I couldn't even list them.
Insecurities abound, I'm incapable of feeling love,
I want to be my free floating self, but I'm stuck in the mud.

Jealousy and fear encompassed by crying and despair,
then anger and rage, until I pull out my hair.
It is something that I can't just turn off,
sometimes about myself I just don't give a fuck.

There is so much agony, I just can't get it out,
like having your throat cut, then trying to shout,
some days I wish I didn't have to fight this disease,
other days I wish that God would just take me.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110912

2011-09-11

Now and forever


This is a rhyme about truth,
a truth inside of me and you,
we all have it, it's in there,
all we need to see it, is to care.

Show someone you love them,
by helping them out,
saying hello,
or ask them what their day is about.

Love your fellow neighbour,
and the love will be returned,
you can then go to bed,
with happiness ensured.

Do something nice for someone,
without expecting anything back,
perhaps you can fix something,
that they lack.

We can turn society around,
by offering simple gestures,
and instill a positive memory in them,
now and forever.

-Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110125

2011-09-10

Without facts


I'm becoming inept,
with this anxiety that I've kept,
aboard this vehicle,
which is just about to crest,
I'm left,
with this pain I've had inside,
stop the lying,
my inner soul is secretly spying,
and letting me know,
that I should stay in my hole,
benevolent requests,
are drowned in nothingness,
I'm sick of fighting,
with my own insight,
lowering my standards to please those who think they're right,
all the time,
but they're not,
when I give it second thought,
my experience tells me,
that they're just making me rot,
if I know that I am,
and I know what I can,
why do I put up with their insiduous demands,
they're nothing,
worth the dirt on my shoe,
I've lived what you're preaching,
so let your god deliver you...

...to freedom,
and acceptance,
I'm not the type to test,
I'll leave you in a mess,
of my own self pity,
that you promote of me,
but as you trip on your own feet,
I'll bury you in the proof you need to seek...

...that shows I'm right and you're wrong,
in my life your attitude don't belong,
don't chastize what I say,
because I'll defend it in every way,
when I know I'm accurate, leaving you nothing to say,
I usually stay silent,
without getting violent,
but when I stand for what I know,
and you're talking out your blowhole,
know,
that you can kiss my ass,
as I say
"I'm not sorry, sorry, I'm just statin' the facts"

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110910

Up in the streets


Middle of broad daylight,
crew's got the scene tight,
so much better when I can see,
instead of the middle of the night,
a bag full of Molotow,
one in each hand,
as I stand on this pallet,
reaching as high as I can.
Got three throwies up,
but it still ain't enough,
I want to fill in faster,
but these fat caps kinda suck.

But I'm in luck,
the boys just want me to do the design,
they'll fill in the rest,
then let me do the outline,
but time,
isn't on my side...

I can't do a great big piece,
I've got a gallon of wheatpaste that will cook in this heat,
so they'll finish the bomb,
and in my calm, I'll whip out my brush,
and if I have any luck,
I'll get this stuck,
without drowning in this muck,
but if it happens,
I'll be laughin',
I'll jump in the river from the train bridge,
that we just walked passed.

Ten cans used, and a 10x10 paste,
I feel elated,
on this day,
I wrote two poems while my boys sprayed and waited.

Get out, get up,
it's what the world needs,
more artistic love,
put up in the streets.

© spektrum aka. sieco aka. delyrius 2011

Love is


Love is, the sweet scent of a flower,
the cool mist in the air, after a sun shower,
the colours of a rainbow, a divine symphony,
I will try to explain, what Love means to me.

It is the happiness, that goes above and beyond,
it cheers you up, when something is wrong,
it cradles you when you're down, and rocks you to sleep,
it is the light in darkness, when you can barely see.

A kiss from an Angel, and a touch soft as silk,
builds self-esteem, and caters to free will,
it enhances sexual pleasure, it adds 'de' to delight,
it's the most basic principal, the very spark of life.

It washes away fear, and cleanses the soul,
once you have it, you begin to feel whole,
I have this love, now in writing you can see,
some of the ways, that love has impacted me.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110910

Day at the office


Doing paperwork in the office,
and a fine girl walks in,
I lose my attention span,
and give her a grin,

just when I thought,
things couldn't be better,
my shirt sleeve gets caught,
in the damned paper shredder.

I tried to downplay it,
amidst all the grinding,
but the next thing I know,
in goes my tie.

If I had my street clothes on,
things wouldn't be this way,
but regardless of my situation,
I'll still ask for a date.

My boss comes by,
and hands me my paycheque,
oblivious in this shredder,
I'm stuck up to my neck.

I tear off the tie,
and rip off my shirt,
I get up from my chair,
and begin to flirt.

So I go to schedule,
the date on the pc,
but suddenly hardcore porn,
appears on the screen.

I tried to brush it off,
like it didn't even happen,
but then my vaseline,
fell out of the cabinet.

The workday is over,
walking down the corridor,
but she trips and falls,
over an extention cord.

Her wig falls off,
and her dress exposes her thighs,
oh my God!
this girl's a guy!

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110910

2011-09-09

Hatred for other races


Deception and falsified intentions, and now your rights are gone,
to start unjust wars, 4000 lives were torn.
The Bush administration smashed the planes into the towers,
so they could justify bombing countries with uranium showers.

For hours that day, people were glued to their TVs,
most still don't realize, that they were being deceived,
everyone wanted payback, with a military attack,
but all they got, was dead civilians and a patriot act.

Patriotism is the act of standing up for what you believe,
not illegally invading and killing civilians of other countries,
nor does it include, erasing the Constitution,
but it does feed into creating a violent revolution.

I had someone die that day, so I'm authorized to speak,
the only ones I'm angry with are the closed-minded sheep,
look at the facts, 1500 architects and engineers,
have consistently produced evidence, the towers fell to create fear.

For the love of good people, stop paying attention to the news,
the same corporations who are profiting from war control the boob tube,
look at building seven, and how it collapsed,
whoever can't see it was controlled demolition can kiss dubya's ass.

My experience tells us that Christianity doesn't promote hate,
but that's what your government did, on that murderous day,
on this day remember the 4000 innocent faces,
but turn your attention in house, instead of hating entire races.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110907

Do your part


Lost innocence, from the neglect of inner sense,
abandonment and regrets,
leaving souls condemned,
we pretend,
to be of love and light,
continuously pushing the boundaries of the fragility of life,
with our selfishness betrayal and despise,
we must realize,
this isn't good for us,
the only way to eliminate fear is to displace it with love,
I've been 36 years stranded on this earth,
and things are getting worse,
someone loses the sense of kindness every time I write a verse.

We must turn this around and raise the vibration,
I'm elated,
to have been called a positive inspiration,
let's all do our part and smile,
perform random acts of kindness,
do your part for humanity,
before negative insanity blinds us,
it can be tough,
trying to raise consciousness,
but what it boils down to is showing selflessness,
it's a choice,
to be negative in your ways,
or to choose to show love, each and every day.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110909

2011-09-08

Dew glistens

I have accepted this as the love in my life,
waking up with the sun and scent of flowers,
the dew glistening in the morning sun showers,
sitting on this bench as I feel what to write.

Waking up with the sun and scent of flowers,
after a peaceful and restful sleep last night,
sitting on this bench as I feel what to write,
losing myself to the pen ink for multiple hours.

After a peaceful and restful sleep last night,
my love of writing has my time completely devoured,
losing myself to the pen ink for multiple hours,
the sun has retired rendering me in moonlight.

My love of writing has my time completely devoured,
being blessed with this talent is divine delight,
the sun has retired rendering me in moonlight.
although it's dark the stars leave me feeling empowered.

Being blessed with this talent is divine delight,
the dew glistening in the morning sun showers,
although it's dark the stars leave me feeling empowered,
I have accepted this as the love in my life.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110908

Houston, we have a problem


This is space shuttle nine, calling back to Houston,
we've got problems up here, and they are condusive,
of mass confusion, we need a solution,
we're melting down in a nuclear fusion,
our seatbelts don't work, and nothing is stowed,
there's a fire on board, and oxygen is low,
we can't see out the windows, and everyone is fighting,
and oh my God! we just got struck by lightning,
we've been boarded by aliens, and they've taken control,
they're flying the ship backwards towards a black hole,
we just hit the moon and knocked it out of orbit,
as it floated into space, the sun completely scortched it,
I don't think much more can happen today,
other than the change of gravity causing tidal waves,
Cape Canaveral just disappeared off the map,
and the New York flooding is being blamed on terrorist attacks.

Shuttle nine, this is Houston, do you read,
we don't know what to do, we're all high on weed,
with all of those problems, you're completely doomed,
let us know how you make out, it's all up to you,
oh, a few more things for when you get back,
the landing gear is broken, and parachutes aren't packed,
so upon re-entry, you're all going to die,
we've given up hope, and we've all stopped trying,
your families are here, but they're passed out drunk,
but they told me to tell you that they send their love,
well, there's one more thing that you should know,
we could have helped, but the engineer was asleep at the controls,
even before you left, we knew there was something wrong,
this is Houston, our final time, signing off.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110908

Most precious gem


I'm sorry I've seemed quite a bit distant,
it isn't because I don't want to listen,
I've just had to deal with emotions,
that came out of the closet,
my love for you is alive,
and is never forgotten.

You are always, my most precious gem,
I'll tell you I love you over and over,
then I'll tell you again,
I pray every day that you will understand,
that my quiet self-reflection will only strengthen this man.

You are my dreams, my hopes and all my aspirations,
I will sacrifice my soul for you, without hesitation,
please see the love in my eyes, it will always burn strong,
in my arms and my heart, you will forever belong.

I'm dealing with my issues, my darkest inner pain,
my reluctance to speak about it, isn't meant to push you away,
I've never had anyone, who cares so much,
so I keep things in, falsely believing it protects our love.

You are my angel, my love and light Goddess,
the way I've bottled up, has been completely thoughtless,
I feel completely empty, when I'm down and blue,
but I promise from now on,
I will trust and share with you.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110907

I do it with love


Fighting off torture and pain,
trying to change my ways,
I'm going through identity crisis,
and I'll never be the same,
or insane,
I just poke fun at myself,
I can't help,
holding the cards that I've been dealt,
but I've felt,
periods of relief,
I've got to stand for me,
and continue to believe,
that I have worth,
and I have purpose in my birth,
these words from my pen prove that I belong on this earth,
dirt, I'm sick of my face in the sand,
I'm going to stand up proudly,
and keep hope instead of making demands.

I hurt, just like everyone else,
but I'm not afraid to push when I get shoved,
enough, I got somethin' to say,
I feel comfort when I'm in graffiti soaked alleyways,
and train bridges,
because they deliver a sense of peace and moments of forgiveness,
sickness,
I don't believe that I am,
the bipolar chastized retard that can't get up again,
man,
do I ever get up,
I master every craft I touch, and I do it with love.
I'm rough,
a little around the edges,
but there are the relentless and pretentious,
who classify me as one of my sentences,
but alas,
I continue to speak,
and will forever do so, as long as I breathe,
this is me, stevieb, did you think I'd give up?,
you can put me down, but I won't drown,
and prove I can love,
from above, like everyone else,
I was born with spiritual gifts,
just because you can't find yours,
doesn't mean on me you can spit.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110907

2011-09-06

A belligerent quest


My continuous missteps,
taking me on a belligerent quest,
of taking inventory of this mess I have left that I severely deteste,
crashing into shore like a beaten and battered shipwreck,
oblivious to what is going on around me,
can hardly see,
can hardly breathe,
just send me back out to sea,
so the waves can shatter me,
I'm stoked,
but I'm stoned,
I'm happy but I'm cold,
never doing what I'm told,
just allowing frustration to continuously unfold,
this misery is seemingly the only thing I got,
I've unlearned everything I've been taught,
I've sought,
peace,
but inside fear it rots,
on second thought,
I think I'm doing this myself,
no more do these words seem to help,
lost in my mind,
my soul is letting go,
stuck on the wrong side of this one way window,
pain,
of this dark gloomy day,
I need to stay,
in positivity,
but I continuously feel betrayed,
I hate feeling this way,
so I take it day to day,
biding my time praying for the pain to go away.

Feeling like I want to run and hide,
from the skeletons in my closet that are still alive,
deliberately haunting me,
tearing down my protective borders,
dropping the entire weight of the world on my shoulders,
screaming yet silent,
lucid but violent,
laughing but crying,
completely vacant and empty inside but I keep on smiling,
lying,
I'm telling fiction stories in my head,
false pretenses and deception I'm being spoonfed,
so as I try to wake up from this depressive slumber,
I reflect on recent times and continue to wonder,
why I feel so stuck,
like trudging through a swamp,
uninvited feelings of loss corrupting my thoughts,
my feelings are awash,
inside confusion I am caught,
nothing is happening
despite all of my positive intentions,
I've given up everything,
made numerous concessions,
perhaps this is a lesson,
but one with nothing to be learnt,
it hurts that nothing needs to trigger me to feel my very worst,
in a perpetual trap,
my patience is wearing thin,
my life is half over,
but it still needs to begin.

Some might think that I'm acting unresponsive,
but the blank stare on my face is from having lost it,
everything is so distant and unclear,
step back away from the hopelessness you see in the mirror,
I'm sick and tired of feeling so alone,
the foliage of lonliness is completely overgrown,
often I feel that I'll forever be in pain,
living out my days,
in torture's disdain,
I know that I'm of love,
but sometimes it's not enough,
to keep me from buckling under pressure and from sorrow being crushed.
It comes and goes you see,
feeling like bitter defeat,
it's like fighting off a disease so it doesn't get the best of me,
so please,
accept me for who I am,
I don't feel this way on purpose,
and I'd change it if I can.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110906

If I was to live forever



Indie Adams & Steve Bertrand Collaboration

Indie: Normal font
stevieb: Italic font

Would you believe in heaven, if it meant that you could live forever?
Would it make you happy if there were ties you would never sever?
I’ve seen the realm of darkness and let it lead me astray
Would you want to live forever, if every day was a perfect day?

As I sit in agony, contemplating this decision I have to make,
realizing that if every day was perfect, I wouldn't want to stay.
We need some darkness, or we won't have any balance,
with too much light, I'd lose my dark poetry talents.

I’m tired of living for perfection, another societal slave
I can handle the rejection, if to beauty it paves the way
Perfection isn’t beautiful, it doesn’t mirror the core
I’ll take the darkness for its beauty because there’s beauty in the flaws

Like drawing straws, each flaw randomly drawing new scars,
sometimes on my body, sometimes in my heart.
The imperfect perfection is what makes me who I am,
I step into perfection's light, but then seek darkness again.

I’ll let it drag me under, let it be my inspiration
Every time I make it out, it’s cause for celebration
The darkness lends me courage to fight towards the dream
Even when I’m lacking and against perfection I scream

So I balance on the fence, like a trapeze artist,
sometimes seeking light, sometimes stuck in darkness,
the perfection in life, is closely tied to my fears,
sometimes I reflect the light of perfection away with a mirror.

When I’m looking at heaven, I only see hell
I want a life where my soul I don’t have to sell
So perfection be damned, I choose to stay human and flawed
If I was to live forever, I’d only be bored.

© Indie Adams & Steve Bertrand 2011 (20110905)

2011-09-05

Only one word


If I only was allowed one word for you,
what would I say?
That's something to think about,
I'd probably be in dismay.
I already know the answer,
so see if you can guess,
by the time this write,
has any words left.

It would have to be of love,
it would have to be of something close,
it couldn't be known just to one of us,
would have to be known to both.
It would have to carry passion,
it would have to be intense,
it would have to be powerful,
it would have to be something I meant.

The word must be timeless,
the meaning dear to our hearts,
think about this for a minute,
where would you start?

It would be a word,
that when I looked in your eyes,
I would pull you close,
and begin to cry.
Something that had to express,
all of my emotions,
my intentions,
and my everlasting devotion.

Something that makes me happy,
a word that brings me alive,
A word I would have said,
the times you were the only thing on my mind.
A word that tickles your soul,
and causes your body do twitch,
causes your spine to tingle,
and your sexual desires to itch.

A word to capture all my feelings for you,
portrays my appreciation when you say "I love you too".
A word to say with a kiss,
or as a kiss itself,
a word to caress your being,
and causes your heart to melt.

There is only one word,
and I'm happy to say,
if I had one word left to say to you,
I would say your name.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 2k110726

Sands of time


Life is ephemeral, everything changes so fast,
so few things in life, have the ability to last.
love however is eternal, the epitome of divine,
one product in existence, that can outlast even time.
Words too live an infinite existence,
with the power to destroy or bring deliverance.

My love and my words, exist in my soul and not my mind,
after I'm dead and gone, they'll both reside in the sands of time.
I used to write about hate, evil and disgust,
now I find myself continuously writing about love.

I've become a miracle, an indigo all grown up,
inside this grown up man, a little boy still is stuffed.
It's never too late, to forgive yourself for your past,
no matter how bad things seem, self-love can be amassed.

Give yourself some credit,
you're only as strong as you say,
stevieb is now proud,
to be living in this way.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110610

2011-09-04

Writer's blackhole


I pick up my pen, as I laugh off writer's block,
I'll continue to write, if it makes sense or not,
I don't follow along, I prefer to lead the pack,
while others get stuck,
I continue to write and never look back.

Quick, someone call a paramedic,
he's bleeding ink all over the place,
and his writing has terrible aesthetics!
Syntactically incorrect, his writing is a mess,
someone do something quick,
before something happens to the alphabet.
Back writing again, just can't get enough,
these words are my love,
always random off the cuff,
rough,
all around the edges,
making absolutely no sense,
is one of my primary intentions.
Pen in one hand, paper in the other,
comforting,
like the bosom of a mother,
smother,
me,
all I can see,
is the world made of words,
singing to me linguistically.

It's an obsession,
some call me permanently demented,
I've lost all senses,
I don't know where this write starts, or the last one ended,
unrelenting,
I've just got too much to say,
I go through rainforests of paper to your utter dismay,
I take my wildest imaginations and put them on public display,
I'm all over the map,
some call me full 'spektrum',
I write about anything,
and am uncontrollably relentless,
senseless,
I must repent,
my words are so out of character,
there aren't any sins left.

oh no!,
where'd the hours go?,
swallowed,
by the writing black hole,
anticipation,
of another write complete,
three verses in front of me,
I can already see,
I get ahead of myself,
I'm not even done this rhyme,
and in my heart I'm already done my next write,
and it will be divine,
because when I'm writing,
I know I'm still alive.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110904

Snow


Looking at the snow,
staring out this window,
gentle wind blows,
the snow...

...in different directions,
no specific intentions,
landing randomly,
seemingly inconspicuously.

The trees are bare,
icy cold glare,
from old Mr. Winter.
Sounds absorbed and insolated,
by the snow covered hill,
leafless weeds almost still.

White, fluffy, untouched,
loving this vantage point much,
it's such,
a wonderful feeling of love.

I feel compassion,
and also satisfaction.

Single fence post,
standing by its lonesome,
like a brave soul,
out in the cold,
as the wind blows,
tossing about the snow.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110202

Visions


I see in myself, what you have instilled,
a flower of love, basking in the sun on a window sill.
I remain here for you, forever very strong,
feeling in my heart, in my arms you belong.

The twinkle in your eyes, your long flowing hair,
your beauty enchants me, removes all of my cares.
The touch of your breath, the sound of your whisper,
provides me natural ecstacy, and makes my soul shiver.

We've got love, we have this divine synergy,
we have out of this world experiences, and unbelievable synchronicities.
If you ever feel doubt, just remember what we've been through,
that it has been based on the love, that I have for you.

You are my everything, like time with no delay,
the devotion I have for you, will never go astray.
No one who reads this, will ever understand what we've been through,
so only you know what I mean, when I say I dedicate my life to you.

Take your right hand, and place it on my heart,
and know in your soul, that this is just the start.
I will extract all your pain, uncertainty and doubt,
you know the potency of our relationship, and what our purpose is about.

I am humbled in your presence, you have brought me great joy,
you have made a man out of me, the troubled little boy.
I will be with you forever, for the remainder of my life,
I have visions of our future, when you will be my wife.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110710

2011-09-03

Unborn age


[HOOK]

Why write about love, when it only gets debated,
taking the love that I portray, and manufacturing it into hate,
this takes me to a place where I feel raped, and ravages my soul,
it makes my body shake quiver and ache.

I've given up my world, where no one else would dare,
and in return I receive cold dark stares,
I would barder off my soul, if that's what I had to do,
to make you understand, that I really love you.

[/HOOK]

[VERSE 1]

All my positive intentions,
contorted into full blown infections,
hindering forward progression,
frustrations are continuously endless.
Ripping on this mixer, pounding out these beats,
not even these lyrics anymore completely satisfy me.
Cut off at the knees,
crawling on these stumps, but can't see my destiny.
Everyone expects me to believe everything to be alright,
I was born as an adult from the onset of this life,
was a six year old father,
raising my brothers Jeremy and Josh,
now the noose of no childhood adorns my neck,
and the floor is about to drop.
One brother dressed to the nines,
the other is dr. atsab,
to understand my family,
spell his name backwards.
One smashes rhymes,
the other argumentatively incessant,
one thinks he's right, and the other a manic depressive.
So if you think I'm crazy for flipping from hate then to love,
try raising two brothers and a mother,
at five years old while growing up.
I once wrote a hook that said
"I write from the perspective of a poor fatherless bastard",
now the lack of sympathy doesn't really matter.
I was born as an adult,
and have grown up completely backwards.
I'm an unafraid coward,
who has tears in his eyes,
but to you I can lie, as I hide behind these rhymes.
I just pull out this pen, and write about love,
and you think I'm all happy,
to me your belief is seemingly good enough.
Then they want to help me, but it's too overwhelming to hear,
ask me how they can help,
but say I hate with my tears.

[HOOK]

[VERSE 2]

I'm a forgetful monster, and boy have I lost it,
but my lyrics will ensure I will be hated but not forgotten,
so as I sit here and rhyme, I know the legacy I leave behind,
you can decide to love me, or believe in the lies.
These lyrical tracks,
are on beats I've produced,
I created the melody,
and wrote the words too.
No education in music, I did it all myself,
I've gone an entire life without any help.
So when I'm dead and gone and as my grave collects dust,
know I achieved my goal, of writing and producing rap tracks you can trust.
I grew up before NWA and the west coast stuff,
the young Brooklyn Beastie's, and the other east coast kids.
Now I take my knowledge of the culture, and the persistence and gifts I have,
I write more potent lyrics, and rap better than they ever did,
I'm not afraid to be cauky, those who know what I do,
know that they rapped for money, while I rap from truth.
I'm not afraid of a battle, I go out looking for a challenge,
I accept praise for kicking ass, and I graciously accept defeatist laughter.
I lived as a rhymer, and will die as a rapper,
you'll have to decide,
whether my rhymes really mattered.

[HOOK]

[VERSE 3]

Even in jail, I haven't seen stronger bars,
this isn't collective,this is self art.
I aspire to be the best rapper, that I know alive,
drops of mixed and mastered perfection, by this spiritual mastermind.
Take what I do, make fun of it if you please,
my spits are antibiotics, eradicating pretenders like a disease.
I beg you to step, at any given time,
whether I'm lost in love, or in a mental institution out of my mind.
I got nine in the family, but only two left,
your inept missteps tell me you can't even count yet,
now there's eight, as I debate, whether my father's death is in store,
as seven is heaven, as I try to act benevolent, but six includes the kid,
who keeps me coming back for more.
Now take five, while I'm alive, but I need one more,
so grab four, ask for more,
but I raised this count til I died.
Three, me, Chantelle and Brittany,
this number includes my kids,
I will give, whatever it is, they need while my body lives.
So grasp two, and while you do, I'll remind you that's the numbers I have left,
now we're one, just for fun,
as I grow down in my age, in my mouth is my thumb,
as I ask to be reborn after my old unborn age as a son.

© spektrum aka. Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110811

2011-09-02

Girl in crack central


I ride past this girl, sitting in this van,
as her parents and friends, drink beer out of cans.
A part of her life, she'll never get back,
this area is known, for meth and for crack.

On this little girl, I want to see a smile on her face,
so on this hydro box, I'll draw a character with spray paint.
Take her out of her moment, of impatience and pain,
risking charges of vandalism in the open, just to entertain.

I hope her parents, get up out of drugs,
and replace their lifestyle, with one full of love.
Time will pass, but it will never be missed,
get rid of the pipe, and give her a kiss.

I don't know her story, but I know I can relate,
I can see the disdain, and pain on her face.
I don't know who you are, but I send you love and light,
I hope my spray painted guy, gives you smiles for tonight.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110902

This is not a write


A moment of fear, rips through my veins,
I want to write lyrics, but got nothin' to say.
Don't know what to do, so for words I will pray,
waiting for a miracle, staring blankly at this page.

Forget the words, I can't even settle on a topic,
I had one in my head earlier, but then lost it.
Oh well, there's nothing I can do,
I'll just vomit on this paper, and see what is produced.

I want to write about love, but that just ain't flowin',
and forget about lyrics, man, I keep chokin'.
Whoever controls my talent, please send it back,
without it, my writes are dreadfully flat.

This is my version, of the dreaded writer's block,
been drugged with sedatives, and gagged with a sock.
It's gone! it's gone!, what's happened to me!?,
I've gone all silent, and lost my creativity!

I literally am stuck, it gets worse over time,
the longer I do this, the more I stress my mind.
Inability to write, puts me in a bad mood,
but instead of pouting, I'll read your art,
to see if I can be inspired by you.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110902

Incite change

Political and Corporate manipulation,
is the condemnation,
and makes humiliation,
of thoughts of a nation,
...so as individuals,
we lack public consternation,
and any power to lay waste to them.

The Government is another story,
of people working for their own glory,
do you know what it's like,
when you can barely make it through,
then the Feds come by and try to fuck you?

Don't worry,
the street life's still in my blood,
I'll threaten to start working for cash,
by returning to selling drugs.
You can't take from me what you can't see,
what you expect from me,
is impossible,
come on, think realistically.

I can't continue to slip into depression,
I will absolutely do what I must,
you take, take and take but never give back,
I'm here to say that I stopped giving a fuck.

Child support deadbeats,
you've allowed it for years,
all these *publicly* funded programs,
do nothing to alleviate tears.

Bailing out big banks,
what the fuck is that?
If it was me,
I'd allow the economy to collapse.

What about bailing out real people,
wow! that almost makes sense!
Oh wait, I forgot, for you short term,
there's no return on that investment.

Many funded programs,
are funded on a needs basis,
it's quantity not quality,
and the program directors become racist.
There is only one colour that many of them see,
one special colour, and that colour is green.

I'm not saying,
that they're all like that,
but the ones that are,
will deal with my verbal wrath.

I'm sick of witnessing those around me,
getting fucked and screwed,
by the very organizations,
created to protect me and you.

My efforts of making political statements,
are about to ramp up hard,
targeted, direct, to the point,
what you've seen so far is just the start.

I will use all the tactics that I have,
ones I've learnt in the streets,
and the ones these orgs use against us,
I'm going to turn the knife back at them and stab.

Anti-Political and anti-Corporate statements,
pain alleviation,
and the cultivation,
of public unrest,
of an entire nation,
speaking out is an infatuation,
and I will,
even if it's on my own,
lay waste to them.

I will assault those who have assaulted me,
verbally, emotionally, psychologically,
I've reached a boiling point,
I need to vent about all these things,
that are infuriating me.

This time though,
instead of aimless rage,
I have targeted feelings for those,
who take advantage of people,
they're the ones who will pay.

I have this uncanny ability,
to find out little secrets,
now though,
in public they will leak.

I will prove that to incite change,
all it takes is one,
one person to turn the tables,
and make YOU look like the thug.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20101024

My future girl 5 - My real future girl


You wipe away my tears,
with your warm gentle soul,
you make me a better person,
as I continue to unfold.

Even though I question it,
this is a loving condition,
beyond what my words can say,
even in my best rendition.

Your love is so lively,
like an insatiable passion,
you divide it up so wonderfully,
that it can provide worldly rations.

I feel that your love for me glows,
glistening like the sun,
through a frosted window.

Any love for you,
is completely endless,
you drive my spirit,
and make me feel senseless.

I am incendiary,
I will set your soul ablaze,
come to me baby,
no longer can I wait.

Your love is a song,
like a melody I've always sought,
not a day goes by,
that you're not in my thoughts.

I have a strong appetite,
to fill your body, mind and spirit with delight,
open up your heart, so you can feel me,
I promise the sensations you will have,
will not be worldly.

My love for you,
is completely in splendor,
cuz you've been with me spiritually,
all along, and will be forever.

Love with you is so much more alive,
you just know it, even without the look in my eyes.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110403

Fading

I can't stand this, my life's falling apart,
a psychiatric program I need to start.
I hate this bullshit, few know what I mean,
I'm so fuckin' scared, I can barely breathe.

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm here or there,
most of the time, I can't even think to care.
I'm buried in darkness, surrounded by fright,
I think it's too late to bother looking for a light.

It's all too much, I can't handle my life,
I'll slice up my wrists with a sharp kitchen knife.

Watching my life flash before my very own eyes,
I'll keel down on my knees, and begin to cry.
Feeling warm, silky blood dripping off my hands,
thinking what my life will be like in a far away land.

Thinking about how much my life is worth,
finally I get to leave this fucked up earth.
Time is moving very, very fast,
I've lived 18 years, and I'll be dead at last.

Then silence... it was a whole new day,
actually no it wasn't, I just passed away.

Now I'm buried six feet under,
no one cares enough to even wonder,
why I'd even think about wanting to die,
I was sick of the pain and I hated to cry.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb Oct. 17, 1994

No love


She left her door open, and what did I see? a chainsaw wielding husband, running at me.
I screamed, dropped my bag, and made a dash for the door,
but I tripped, smashed my head, and landed on the floor.
I scrambled up,
as the smell of gas filled the air,
I did a double take for my bag, but didn't fuckin' care.
My heart is racing, for an escape I'm tryin' to find,
a dive through a window fell short, because of the fear in my eyes.
I tried to plead with him... yo! man, I only wanted to have sex,
you're so damn ugly, I'm surprised she hasn't left you yet.
By this time I'm panicked, hanging off a chandelier,"fuck man I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd be here!
look man, nothin' happened, nothin' at all today,
at least you don't even know about the last fourty days!"

---
It's not my fault she loves me a lot more than you,
I treat her better, and I'm more fun than you too.
At least that's all I've done, well actually, there's your sister,
and your Mom as well, but at least I only kissed her.
Take a look in the mirror, and see where you've gone wrong,
so you don't end up on the shitty side of this song.
---

Walking in a park, and this girl comes on strong,
"I don't even know you, don't you think this is wrong?"
She lifted up her shirt, and up her skirt she put my hand,
"come on little cutie, you'd be good at this dance".
I went along with it, as I was getting excited,
and the look on her face told me she was pleasantly delighted.
I pick this girl up, and carry her to her car, by now we have no clothes on,
they're thrown all over the park.
We're getting it on in the back seat, and all seems good,
steam covers the windows, so I can't see very good.
Then the car window smashes, and I get dragged out by my feet,
and a deep voice says
"that's my daughter, and I'm the chief of police!"

---
It's not my fault she loves me a lot more than you,
I treat her better, and I'm more fun than you too.
At least that's all I've done, well actually, there's your sister,
and your Mom as well, but at least I only kissed her.
Take a look in the mirror, and see where you've gone wrong,
so you don't end up on the shitty side of this song.
---

I'm at this bar with my crew, chillin' over a few pints,
discussing where we'll hit up graffiti later this night.
Then my homie taps my shoulder and says "man that girl's being flirtatious,
she wants you pretty bad, so take it and don't paint with us".
I thought yeah, know what? I could use a little fun,
so I took her and her two friends and jumped in the cab of my truck.
We got to her place, and I thought, yeah, this'll be alright,
this'll be a dope place to stay for the night.
But then, out of the blue, these girls gave an evil stare,
one tried to hold me, while another pulled my hair.
I tried to scream, but one stuffed panties in my mouth,
all I could think of was how my graff crew was making out.
Then one held down my arms, and one sat on my legs,
this wasn't enjoyable, I started to fuckin' pray.
That's when hell broke loose, out came the chains and whips,
I mumbled the best I could, that I'm not into this fuckin' shit.
Because of my stupid tolerance, their drugs never took effect,
I wish they did, because I was afraid of what comes next.
I tried to settle down, it's not as bad as I thought it was,
but then the third girl, pulled out a fuckin' gun.
I thought great, this is now the end, if I can get out of this nightmare,
I'll only have sex with my friends.
I've learnt my lesson, I swear that I have!,
the next time this happens,
I'll just go with the boys painting graff.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110806

2011-09-01

The universe is your oyster



I'm sitting here, as I bide my time,
the only lies I've faced, were those inside.
Emotions erratic, as I write with my pen,
what's in store, for my next level of ascension?

I know what is wrong, it can all be fixed,
everything is perfect, if I say it is.
Curious about my future, but I'm not afraid,
even in rough times, I don't need to feel pain.

I won't hurt you, I don't mean you any harm,
despite having a criminal record, longer than both arms,
if my words offend you, I'm sorry it's just my brand,
I'm responsible for my words, not the way you understand.

Sometimes my words flow, sometimes it's hit or miss,
sometimes so beautiful, they remind me of a kiss.
Been a week since I wrote, so this is better than nothin',
even if it feels like garbage, my soul is sayin' somethin'.

So let's bask, in this place we call today,
worry about yesterday and tomorrow, will drive us insane.
Get your love on, and shine your light upon our world,
the universe is your oyster, and you are the pearl.

-Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110602

All ways, always


You are the vibration, providing me vision in dark,
you are the frequency, that has captured my heart,
you are the light, that allows me to see,
you are the sound, that calls out to me.

I am forever in debt, for your graciousness,
I am honoured and humbled, by your selflessness,
all of myself, I give unto you,
in all ways always, my love remains true.

-Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110519