Fading

I can't stand this, my life's falling apart,
a psychiatric program I need to start.
I hate this bullshit, few know what I mean,
I'm so fuckin' scared, I can barely breathe.

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm here or there,
most of the time, I can't even think to care.
I'm buried in darkness, surrounded by fright,
I think it's too late to bother looking for a light.

It's all too much, I can't handle my life,
I'll slice up my wrists with a sharp kitchen knife.

Watching my life flash before my very own eyes,
I'll keel down on my knees, and begin to cry.
Feeling warm, silky blood dripping off my hands,
thinking what my life will be like in a far away land.

Thinking about how much my life is worth,
finally I get to leave this fucked up earth.
Time is moving very, very fast,
I've lived 18 years, and I'll be dead at last.

Then silence... it was a whole new day,
actually no it wasn't, I just passed away.

Now I'm buried six feet under,
no one cares enough to even wonder,
why I'd even think about wanting to die,
I was sick of the pain and I hated to cry.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb Oct. 17, 1994