Depressive monotony

Abandonment issues has got me in depressive monotony,
I was let out of prison early cause they didn't even want me,
like a sliding window each and every day,
one day I'm happy, the next I'm depraved.

There's not a drug on the market that helps with these symptoms,
I have so many feelings of hurt, I couldn't even list them.
Insecurities abound, I'm incapable of feeling love,
I want to be my free floating self, but I'm stuck in the mud.

Jealousy and fear encompassed by crying and despair,
then anger and rage, until I pull out my hair.
It is something that I can't just turn off,
sometimes about myself I just don't give a fuck.

There is so much agony, I just can't get it out,
like having your throat cut, then trying to shout,
some days I wish I didn't have to fight this disease,
other days I wish that God would just take me.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110912