2011-11-15

A child inside


I'm a child inside due to a childless past,
time to grow up,
and do it fast,
I'm an obsessive posessor on insanity's border,
of pain and despair I've been a collective hoarder,
is it a disorder?,
or something I can work through?,
I've always felt screwed,
I can't prove with intent that I've have had the power to choose,
I've been abused,
but it's something nobody can see,
because I've believed my secrets should be kept inside of me,
indeed,
I've been inprisoned in my own self cataclysm,
it's because I've chosen not to make different decisions,
but it's time to move forward,
get up and move on,
grief is like a ghost,
I can accept it and make it gone,
I'm not wrong for not accepting any help,
it's only because I wasn't listening to myself,
with the pain I've been dealt,
by my own hands,
leaving permanent internal welts,
pass me the scalpul,
I need to perform surgery,
remove this psychological cancer before I allow it to murder me,
I've lived through hell,
so I know I can survive,
but I must disassociate from the past to fully become alive.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20111115
Posted by at
Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

16 comments:

  1. Pat HattNovember 15, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Loved the flow of this one and some quick rhymes, my child inside does not want to leave though..haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. meNovember 15, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Thanks Pat! My child inside will never die or go away, just some of the negative childish behaviours and actions I still carry around. Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brian MillerNovember 15, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    strong message in this and a great rhythm as well...great use of rhyme and pace....like much and would love to hear it read or performed...yes we have to cut it out...

    ReplyDelete
  4. meNovember 15, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Thank you Brian... I keep getting offers from different hip-hop friends I have to make it into the studio, but timing keeps slipping away. Someday :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. tinkwelbornNovember 15, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    wow. anger in rant. nice flow to the piece and nice rhyme.
    that child needs to take care of himself, for a change.

    ReplyDelete
  6. meNovember 15, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    Yes :) The child does run free. This piece came out on the tail end of a bipolar depressive episode. I'm really trying to figure out why it happens to me, and sort out some of my negative traits.

    This piece's inspiration stemmed from the fact that I have realized that I act very childish and selfish from time-to-time, and I needed to become aware to that fact and accept it.

    I can still let my inner child have fun and let loose, but I need to check my attitude and behaviour in certain situations.

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shashidhar SharmaNovember 16, 2011 at 5:36 AM

    Dear Steve

    I could relate to this so much actually... what you have written is something what I have written too.. this time for the dVerse OLN... you see we have to leave the past / drain the past or cut it away as you said to live in this now completely...

    Lovely and powerful verse... thanks for sharing..

    Shashi
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-where-you-will-go.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. TashtooNovember 16, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Steve! This is fantastic :) so very happy you found your way back to us. I want to HEAR these words spoken...there is such a drive to its pace, I bet it's even better when you read it aloud. Spit that fire, Poet!

    ReplyDelete
  9. meNovember 16, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    That means a lot coming from you Natasha. I suppose I'll have to make a Youtube vid sometime soon :)

    Thank you very much. I'll be staying around this time and taking part like I did before. I need to continue to do the things I truly enjoy instead of fading away. I'm very thankful I found dVerse... I have learnt a tremendous amount not just about writing, but about the entire culture as a whole.

    Going to see what's on tap for today right now actually.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 16, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    I can relate to this very well and I'm in need of that same surgery, Steve. Much of the pain I haul around is self-inflicted too, began by a painful childhood--continued by my tight gripping!

    Wonderful write by that child within...

    ReplyDelete
  11. ayalaNovember 17, 2011 at 6:22 AM

    A strong message and a nice write.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maggie Patti Barbara Frankford-WaltonNovember 19, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    lovely write, wow.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousNovember 22, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    A strong message, cleverly written.

    Sad, but hopeful at the end.

    Thanks for sharing :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownNovember 22, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    nice poem... I can relate in a way.. I had and a great deal of responsibility on my hands as a kid, so I had to grow up fast... great write & flow.

    ReplyDelete
  15. SheilaNovember 22, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    powerful write - raw and one that I can relate to. thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownNovember 22, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    I've been inprisoned in my own self cataclysm,
    it's because I've chosen not to make different decisions,

    Self cataclysm, a powerful image. Such a strong statement of strength, self-recognition and witness tobthe power to make ourselves who we are.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)