Houston, we have a problem

This is space shuttle nine, calling back to Houston,
we've got problems up here, and they are condusive,
of mass confusion, we need a solution,
we're melting down in a nuclear fusion,
our seatbelts don't work, and nothing is stowed,
there's a fire on board, and oxygen is low,
we can't see out the windows, and everyone is fighting,
and oh my God! we just got struck by lightning,
we've been boarded by aliens, and they've taken control,
they're flying the ship backwards towards a black hole,
we just hit the moon and knocked it out of orbit,
as it floated into space, the sun completely scortched it,
I don't think much more can happen today,
other than the change of gravity causing tidal waves,
Cape Canaveral just disappeared off the map,
and the New York flooding is being blamed on terrorist attacks.

Shuttle nine, this is Houston, do you read,
we don't know what to do, we're all high on weed,
with all of those problems, you're completely doomed,
let us know how you make out, it's all up to you,
oh, a few more things for when you get back,
the landing gear is broken, and parachutes aren't packed,
so upon re-entry, you're all going to die,
we've given up hope, and we've all stopped trying,
your families are here, but they're passed out drunk,
but they told me to tell you that they send their love,
well, there's one more thing that you should know,
we could have helped, but the engineer was asleep at the controls,
even before you left, we knew there was something wrong,
this is Houston, our final time, signing off.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110908