Rain on my parade

This guessing game is as fun as rain at a parade,
I'm tired of playing this almost every day,
it's lame,
and it's draining on the brain,
I've already taken too much of the blame,
pain is what this cycle creates,
a race,
after being sprayed in the face with pepper spray mace,
running around in this vicious circle collapsing only when my heart breaks,
but wait,
from the frustration comes salvation,
but just like masterbation,
feelings must be kept quiet,
as to not break the unbalanced silence,
I don't like it,
I'm allowed to feel hurt,
I do have self worth,
I now care how I feel,
after not caring since my birth,
it's not selfish to express what I've felt,
when nobody has helped,
I'm childish or complaining so my concerns are constantly quelled,
but I soldier on,
with unresolved complaints,
I sit alone confused and resentful until the next time I relive this fate.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20111019

Without facts

I'm becoming inept,
with this anxiety that I've kept,
aboard this vehicle,
which is just about to crest,
I'm left,
with this pain I've had inside,
stop the lying,
my inner soul is secretly spying,
and letting me know,
that I should stay in my hole,
benevolent requests,
are drowned in nothingness,
I'm sick of fighting,
with my own insight,
lowering my standards to please those who think they're right,
all the time,
but they're not,
when I give it second thought,
my experience tells me,
that they're just making me rot,
if I know that I am,
and I know what I can,
why do I put up with their insiduous demands,
they're nothing,
worth the dirt on my shoe,
I've lived what you're preaching,
so let your god deliver you...

...to freedom,
and acceptance,
I'm not the type to test,
I'll leave you in a mess,
of my own self pity,
that you promote of me,
but as you trip on your own feet,
I'll bury you in the proof you need to seek...

...that shows I'm right and you're wrong,
in my life your attitude don't belong,
don't chastize what I say,
because I'll defend it in every way,
when I know I'm accurate, leaving you nothing to say,
I usually stay silent,
without getting violent,
but when I stand for what I know,
and you're talking out your blowhole,
know,
that you can kiss my ass,
as I say
"I'm not sorry, sorry, I'm just statin' the facts"

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110910

I do it with love

Fighting off torture and pain,
trying to change my ways,
I'm going through identity crisis,
and I'll never be the same,
or insane,
I just poke fun at myself,
I can't help,
holding the cards that I've been dealt,
but I've felt,
periods of relief,
I've got to stand for me,
and continue to believe,
that I have worth,
and I have purpose in my birth,
these words from my pen prove that I belong on this earth,
dirt, I'm sick of my face in the sand,
I'm going to stand up proudly,
and keep hope instead of making demands.

I hurt, just like everyone else,
but I'm not afraid to push when I get shoved,
enough, I got somethin' to say,
I feel comfort when I'm in graffiti soaked alleyways,
and train bridges,
because they deliver a sense of peace and moments of forgiveness,
sickness,
I don't believe that I am,
the bipolar chastized retard that can't get up again,
man,
do I ever get up,
I master every craft I touch, and I do it with love.
I'm rough,
a little around the edges,
but there are the relentless and pretentious,
who classify me as one of my sentences,
but alas,
I continue to speak,
and will forever do so, as long as I breathe,
this is me, stevieb, did you think I'd give up?,
you can put me down, but I won't drown,
and prove I can love,
from above, like everyone else,
I was born with spiritual gifts,
just because you can't find yours,
doesn't mean on me you can spit.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110907