This is not a write

A moment of fear, rips through my veins,
I want to write lyrics, but got nothin' to say.
Don't know what to do, so for words I will pray,
waiting for a miracle, staring blankly at this page.

Forget the words, I can't even settle on a topic,
I had one in my head earlier, but then lost it.
Oh well, there's nothing I can do,
I'll just vomit on this paper, and see what is produced.

I want to write about love, but that just ain't flowin',
and forget about lyrics, man, I keep chokin'.
Whoever controls my talent, please send it back,
without it, my writes are dreadfully flat.

This is my version, of the dreaded writer's block,
been drugged with sedatives, and gagged with a sock.
It's gone! it's gone!, what's happened to me!?,
I've gone all silent, and lost my creativity!

I literally am stuck, it gets worse over time,
the longer I do this, the more I stress my mind.
Inability to write, puts me in a bad mood,
but instead of pouting, I'll read your art,
to see if I can be inspired by you.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110902

Incite change

Political and Corporate manipulation,
is the condemnation,
and makes humiliation,
of thoughts of a nation,
...so as individuals,
we lack public consternation,
and any power to lay waste to them.

The Government is another story,
of people working for their own glory,
do you know what it's like,
when you can barely make it through,
then the Feds come by and try to fuck you?

Don't worry,
the street life's still in my blood,
I'll threaten to start working for cash,
by returning to selling drugs.
You can't take from me what you can't see,
what you expect from me,
is impossible,
come on, think realistically.

I can't continue to slip into depression,
I will absolutely do what I must,
you take, take and take but never give back,
I'm here to say that I stopped giving a fuck.

Child support deadbeats,
you've allowed it for years,
all these *publicly* funded programs,
do nothing to alleviate tears.

Bailing out big banks,
what the fuck is that?
If it was me,
I'd allow the economy to collapse.

What about bailing out real people,
wow! that almost makes sense!
Oh wait, I forgot, for you short term,
there's no return on that investment.

Many funded programs,
are funded on a needs basis,
it's quantity not quality,
and the program directors become racist.
There is only one colour that many of them see,
one special colour, and that colour is green.

I'm not saying,
that they're all like that,
but the ones that are,
will deal with my verbal wrath.

I'm sick of witnessing those around me,
getting fucked and screwed,
by the very organizations,
created to protect me and you.

My efforts of making political statements,
are about to ramp up hard,
targeted, direct, to the point,
what you've seen so far is just the start.

I will use all the tactics that I have,
ones I've learnt in the streets,
and the ones these orgs use against us,
I'm going to turn the knife back at them and stab.

Anti-Political and anti-Corporate statements,
pain alleviation,
and the cultivation,
of public unrest,
of an entire nation,
speaking out is an infatuation,
and I will,
even if it's on my own,
lay waste to them.

I will assault those who have assaulted me,
verbally, emotionally, psychologically,
I've reached a boiling point,
I need to vent about all these things,
that are infuriating me.

This time though,
instead of aimless rage,
I have targeted feelings for those,
who take advantage of people,
they're the ones who will pay.

I have this uncanny ability,
to find out little secrets,
now though,
in public they will leak.

I will prove that to incite change,
all it takes is one,
one person to turn the tables,
and make YOU look like the thug.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20101024

My future girl 5 - My real future girl

You wipe away my tears,
with your warm gentle soul,
you make me a better person,
as I continue to unfold.

Even though I question it,
this is a loving condition,
beyond what my words can say,
even in my best rendition.

Your love is so lively,
like an insatiable passion,
you divide it up so wonderfully,
that it can provide worldly rations.

I feel that your love for me glows,
glistening like the sun,
through a frosted window.

Any love for you,
is completely endless,
you drive my spirit,
and make me feel senseless.

I am incendiary,
I will set your soul ablaze,
come to me baby,
no longer can I wait.

Your love is a song,
like a melody I've always sought,
not a day goes by,
that you're not in my thoughts.

I have a strong appetite,
to fill your body, mind and spirit with delight,
open up your heart, so you can feel me,
I promise the sensations you will have,
will not be worldly.

My love for you,
is completely in splendor,
cuz you've been with me spiritually,
all along, and will be forever.

Love with you is so much more alive,
you just know it, even without the look in my eyes.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110403

Fading

I can't stand this, my life's falling apart,
a psychiatric program I need to start.
I hate this bullshit, few know what I mean,
I'm so fuckin' scared, I can barely breathe.

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm here or there,
most of the time, I can't even think to care.
I'm buried in darkness, surrounded by fright,
I think it's too late to bother looking for a light.

It's all too much, I can't handle my life,
I'll slice up my wrists with a sharp kitchen knife.

Watching my life flash before my very own eyes,
I'll keel down on my knees, and begin to cry.
Feeling warm, silky blood dripping off my hands,
thinking what my life will be like in a far away land.

Thinking about how much my life is worth,
finally I get to leave this fucked up earth.
Time is moving very, very fast,
I've lived 18 years, and I'll be dead at last.

Then silence... it was a whole new day,
actually no it wasn't, I just passed away.

Now I'm buried six feet under,
no one cares enough to even wonder,
why I'd even think about wanting to die,
I was sick of the pain and I hated to cry.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb Oct. 17, 1994

No love

She left her door open, and what did I see? a chainsaw wielding husband, running at me.
I screamed, dropped my bag, and made a dash for the door,
but I tripped, smashed my head, and landed on the floor.
I scrambled up,
as the smell of gas filled the air,
I did a double take for my bag, but didn't fuckin' care.
My heart is racing, for an escape I'm tryin' to find,
a dive through a window fell short, because of the fear in my eyes.
I tried to plead with him... yo! man, I only wanted to have sex,
you're so damn ugly, I'm surprised she hasn't left you yet.
By this time I'm panicked, hanging off a chandelier,"fuck man I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd be here!
look man, nothin' happened, nothin' at all today,
at least you don't even know about the last fourty days!"

---
It's not my fault she loves me a lot more than you,
I treat her better, and I'm more fun than you too.
At least that's all I've done, well actually, there's your sister,
and your Mom as well, but at least I only kissed her.
Take a look in the mirror, and see where you've gone wrong,
so you don't end up on the shitty side of this song.
---

Walking in a park, and this girl comes on strong,
"I don't even know you, don't you think this is wrong?"
She lifted up her shirt, and up her skirt she put my hand,
"come on little cutie, you'd be good at this dance".
I went along with it, as I was getting excited,
and the look on her face told me she was pleasantly delighted.
I pick this girl up, and carry her to her car, by now we have no clothes on,
they're thrown all over the park.
We're getting it on in the back seat, and all seems good,
steam covers the windows, so I can't see very good.
Then the car window smashes, and I get dragged out by my feet,
and a deep voice says
"that's my daughter, and I'm the chief of police!"

---
It's not my fault she loves me a lot more than you,
I treat her better, and I'm more fun than you too.
At least that's all I've done, well actually, there's your sister,
and your Mom as well, but at least I only kissed her.
Take a look in the mirror, and see where you've gone wrong,
so you don't end up on the shitty side of this song.
---

I'm at this bar with my crew, chillin' over a few pints,
discussing where we'll hit up graffiti later this night.
Then my homie taps my shoulder and says "man that girl's being flirtatious,
she wants you pretty bad, so take it and don't paint with us".
I thought yeah, know what? I could use a little fun,
so I took her and her two friends and jumped in the cab of my truck.
We got to her place, and I thought, yeah, this'll be alright,
this'll be a dope place to stay for the night.
But then, out of the blue, these girls gave an evil stare,
one tried to hold me, while another pulled my hair.
I tried to scream, but one stuffed panties in my mouth,
all I could think of was how my graff crew was making out.
Then one held down my arms, and one sat on my legs,
this wasn't enjoyable, I started to fuckin' pray.
That's when hell broke loose, out came the chains and whips,
I mumbled the best I could, that I'm not into this fuckin' shit.
Because of my stupid tolerance, their drugs never took effect,
I wish they did, because I was afraid of what comes next.
I tried to settle down, it's not as bad as I thought it was,
but then the third girl, pulled out a fuckin' gun.
I thought great, this is now the end, if I can get out of this nightmare,
I'll only have sex with my friends.
I've learnt my lesson, I swear that I have!,
the next time this happens,
I'll just go with the boys painting graff.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110806

The universe is your oyster

I'm sitting here, as I bide my time,
the only lies I've faced, were those inside.
Emotions erratic, as I write with my pen,
what's in store, for my next level of ascension?

I know what is wrong, it can all be fixed,
everything is perfect, if I say it is.
Curious about my future, but I'm not afraid,
even in rough times, I don't need to feel pain.

I won't hurt you, I don't mean you any harm,
despite having a criminal record, longer than both arms,
if my words offend you, I'm sorry it's just my brand,
I'm responsible for my words, not the way you understand.

Sometimes my words flow, sometimes it's hit or miss,
sometimes so beautiful, they remind me of a kiss.
Been a week since I wrote, so this is better than nothin',
even if it feels like garbage, my soul is sayin' somethin'.

So let's bask, in this place we call today,
worry about yesterday and tomorrow, will drive us insane.
Get your love on, and shine your light upon our world,
the universe is your oyster, and you are the pearl.

-Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110602

All ways, always

You are the vibration, providing me vision in dark,
you are the frequency, that has captured my heart,
you are the light, that allows me to see,
you are the sound, that calls out to me.

I am forever in debt, for your graciousness,
I am honoured and humbled, by your selflessness,
all of myself, I give unto you,
in all ways always, my love remains true.

-Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110519