Like I should

I'm a serendipitous kid,
signals mixed,
with religion nixed,
walking around pissed,
myself I outbid,
mistaking love for fear,
I've missed a lot because the emotions I allowed to live,
I seem to outlive these grudges against myself,
I only doubt that my hatred will ever be expelled,
I do have love,
but have hate in my blood,
I was baptised into lies,
and feel my soul is being crushed.

I can't get past the fact that the world's not intact,
feels like a heart attack when I get angry and fire back,
at the ass cracks that rape and pillage the general masses.
I need to forgive myself,
and totally let go,
but I can't bring myself to have love for these greedy assholes.
The hatred,
I've got to get it out,
it only masks the true emotions crippling,
fear and doubt,
but that's what I'm about.

I know I can stand strong,
I need to focus on life's positives,
because in love I belong,
so as I sit here and write,
within the core of these woods,
I'm working diligently on changing my attitude,
to focus on love like I should.

© Steve Bertrand aka. stevieb 20110202

Author Note: I really am upset with myself for exerting so much hate toward those negative. I feel like such a waste. I will do my best to see the truth, but focus my energy on the positive, loving the people in my life I have been overlooking. I pray I can stop hating.